3 weeks ago
I grew up on bitterness and religion.
An angry mother who swung at us,
A verse behind every blow
A prayer over every bruise
Her God apparently telling her
This is how to raise her children.
I never dared to ask her why if God so loved the world
Why did she make me feel so hated?
God sought fishers of men
But I was fishing for answers
Like why my dad didn't want custody,
I never blamed him for leaving
But I did for not fighting,
Like damn I do get it, Ma's crazy
Get away while you can
But your kids deserved better
So lowkey fuck you for not trying
A chant, a motto, a mantra.
I was a butterfly stuck in a cocoon
Never good enough for the mother
Who read her bible more than my stories
Who went to service more than my games
Who thought therapy was for people who were scared of Jesus
And that cutting was an exaggerated form of attention seeking.
Myself was never good enough
My dreams were discarded like the dinner she always burned
Twice I decided I no longer wanted to be here
And yet I'm still here.
She broke my wings, but not my spine
And the day I left her house, was the day I learned to fly.
#ftm #trans #transguy #transman #transgender #depression #anxiety #transwriter #transpoet #spokenword #poem #poetry #writer #writing