3 minutes ago
Not sure where to start. I wrote and deleted a couple of “opening statements” but I’m not sure I can find the words to do any of it justice. I’d forgotten my monthly guest was en route. On Wednesday, I was so fucking exhausted without having really done anything and I wasn’t sure why. I spoke down on myself, I told myself I was being lazy and I needed to get my shit together. I mean I pushed through, but the exhaustion continued. Today is Saturday and my period just started. I’ve already thrown up once, I can’t eat anything and my nipples hurt rubbing against my clothes. I’m unbelievably thankful that I am home and don’t have to be running around to meetings. Some women, more than others experience intense cramping. The women in my family have a history of intense period pain, heavy bleeding for 5-7 days. There have been times I couldn’t attend school, I had to call out of work. Today’s pain is so intense, I’m not sure what I would have done if I had to sit in a room with people that couldn’t relate. I’ve always been the odd ball, unfiltered loud mouth that says what she needs. So when my energy is low, all the men at the table with me notice. “What’s wrong taz?” “You okay, what’s wrong?” I tell them the truth and they all almost respond in synchrony “woah taz” “too much information” one person had the audacity to say “I don’t need to know that, it would be if I told you I had diarrhea” .... of course, I held my ground and responded pretty passionately as to why that was utter fucking bullshit. So I say all this to tell you, I’m not hiding what makes me a woman. I’m not hiding the normal parts of me that every fucking man is aware of. I’m not going to hide that DESPITE my pain, the fact I am literally bleeding out, nauseated and fucking exhausted - I am sitting at the same table. Doing what these men do, better and I’m doing it bleeding.